A few of those “Medium Box” Truths

When I was a child, my father divided up all of the most important things he would ever need to tell me in life in to three separate groups. He called them the “small, medium, and big boxes.” The idea was that when I was young, understandably there would be many truths in life that I simply was not able to handle before a certain age, and therefore those discussions would need to wait until a later date to be had. Of course he was right, and I doubt there are many parents that would disagree with this strategy. 

Not surprisingly, as an adult I have a similar philosophy about truths which warrant communication, and I would say for many of those truths, it boils down to these categories: Facebook, Blog Post/Sermon, and one-on-one discussion truths. The idea behind that being, some issues you can address to a large number of people in a sentence or two, others require several paragraphs and are directed towards only those who would voluntarily succumb to a lengthy explanation, and still others are so touchy that they require a one-on-one sit down conversation. For example, “God’s not dead” is the epitome of Facebook post-worthy truths. You can blast that stuff all over social media and the worst you’ll get is an eye roll from either a nonbeliever or a truly committed evangelist.

Yes that little dig was intentional. 

Moving on.

Other things, like confronting a bother or sister in Christ on a personal moral failure, need to be addressed in person, with kindness and compassion. Our topic today (or rather my topic, and yours by extent if you are patient enough to still be reading) is one of those blog post/sermon topics, because it is public enough to be appropriate for social media, and yet controversial enough to bring the villagers out with their pitchforks and torches if not handled appropriately. 

Part of the reason this particular set of issues is so controversial, is that almost every Politician, Pastor, TV evangelist, and good ol’ boy who likes to run his mouth has weighed in on them by now.

It’s like everyone in America thinks it’s their Christian duty to put their two cents in. So, I figure if everyone else is doing it, I might as well join in. Before I do though, I want to be clear that my intent is not to stir up division, breed dissent, provoke anyone to anger, cause anyone to feel foolish, call anyone out specifically, or otherwise agitate anyone beyond the response which the truth alone would produce if received from any other source. In other words, for those that know me personally, I am not talking directly to, or about, you. This discourse is solely for the purpose of providing a biblical perspective to the Church on a crucial issue in our culture. Nothing more. 

Now that the four paragraph disclaimer is in place, I will press on ahead with the well intended but probably misguided assumption that nobody will get mad at me for this post. Worst case scenario, I can always fall back on my complete, yet good natured lack of remorse should anyone decide to be mad anyway. The topic at hand is manifested in three separate ways, and yet ultimately traces back to a core issue. That core issue, is that contemporary American Christians are whiny, distrustful crybabies. Every last one of them. 

<insert disclaimer admitting my own participation in said distrustful whininess, thus preventing anyone’s righteous indignation from being justifiable> 

We as both a nation on Earth, and a small portion of an Eternal Kingdom, are sometimes prone to acting as some of the most self-centered and faithless people ever to walk the earth. 

Now allow me to provide some clarification for these inevitably inflammatory remarks. What I really meant by that, was… well… Exactly what it sounded like I meant.

We, the church in America, are the people who walk in to worship on Sunday morning and sing songs with lyrics that say things like, “My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly trust in Jesus’ name.” then walk out on Monday morning and buy an AR-15 to both protect our homes against potential invaders and stick it to the democratic man. 

We are the people who say things like, “I’m really just going to have to rely on God to choose the right one for me” when we are talking about our desire for a boyfriend or girlfriend, and not our desire for the next President of the United States. Somehow we think that our life partner is not something which requires our own good judgement, and our next national leader is something which we can control with our “all-powerful right to vote.” Maybe that’s why both our marriages and our presidents are failing. 

We are the people who who spout of verses about “judge not" this and “love all of these people unconditionally” and “forgive seventy times seven” when we are talking about people we can tolerate, and then go around complaining that congress should have ordered a bigger airstrike on ISIS months ago. 

Let me take these one at a time. First, is God more effective than an AR-15? (If your answer is no, then we have a whole other conversation on our hands) If He is, then why not spend time praying for protection instead of purchasing weapons for self defense? Are you afraid He won’t answer your prayers the way you want? Then He probably has a reason for that, and you might want to consider if it is wise to think you can take justice out of His hands and place it in your own. Now you might say, “God helps those who help themselves” for this kind of thing, but until you can show me a chapter and verse in the New Testament which condones an individual Christian killing another human for any reason, I will say that those who help themselves in the biblical sense are those who pray. 

“Turn the other cheek” is not conditional. The Bible says “Pray for those that persecute you,” not “shoot them.” And if you think persecution only means direct challenges to your faith, read 1 Peter. (Chapter 2, verses 18 through 23)

Concerning Presidents and other elected Officials, read 1st Peter chapter 2, verses 13 through 17, Romans 9:17, Colossians 1:16, the rest of the New Testament, etc. Believe it or not, it is not our Christian duty to vote. Nor is it our Christian duty to set up an earthly Christian nation called "America," and try to maintain it as such. What we are commanded to do instead is act as citizens of another nation all together, the Kingdom of Heaven, (Ephesians 2:19) and go out into this world as lights, being submissive to authority as far as it does not require us to violate scriptural commands, and focussing our time and energy not on political triumph, but on spiritual warfare. (Ephesians 6:12) At the time Paul wrote some of his letters, Nero was the Emperor and was trying to elect a horse as a member of the senate, set half the city on fire, and use Christians burning at the stake as lamps for his garden parties. This is the emperor Paul was saying to be subject to. If early Christians could be subject to him, you can deal with a President you don’t like for 8 years without complaining. You’re blessed to even have a vote at all. 

Finally, concerning ISIS, I only have one thing to say. 

It is a good thing the Bible does not condone airstrikes on everybody who decapitates children, or else everyone who has ever chosen to have an abortion would be left without a chance for repentance. 

If we extend grace to the mothers who have made a decision like that (as well we should) then consistency mandates that we do the same for everyone. But say you haven’t ever had an abortion? Then read Matthew 5:21. You’re probably no less guilty in the end (none of us are), and no, their sin is not greater than yours. So put down your rocks and walk away grateful for your own second chance, rather than attempting to rob somebody else of theirs. 

One other loose end to tie up, if anyone is thinking of appealing to the justice of God in the Old Testament, I wouldn’t recommend it. You would fail that test before ISIS would. 

“Long ago, at many times and in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed the heir of all things, through whom also he created the world. He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power. After making purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high, having become as much superior to angels as the name he has inherited is more excellent than theirs.” (Hebrews 1:1-4) 

What this means, is that the God of Justice and Divine Wrath has chosen pour out His retribution in full upon the God of Mercy and Forgiveness, and as a result He has handed over to Him all authority and dominion to judge the living and the dead, and to decide the fate of mankind. This new Priest brings with Him a new Covenant, and a New Age. His name is Jesus Christ, and it is He alone who Justifies man before God. (Romans 8:31-34) For you to say someone is beyond the Justification of Christ is for you to make yourself Judge, and declare their eternal fate. More than that, it is to say that there is a point from which man cannot be redeemed, which is dangerous for you, because left to your own devices, you would surely cross it as well. “There, but for the grace of God, go us all.” 

If there were truly a point to all of this, I would say it is this: Pray without ceasing, and trust without wavering (1 Thessalonians 5:17, James 1:16). Either God is powerful, or He is not. And either His judgement is just, or it is not. He always hears your prayers, and always gives an answer. So trust His answer. Spend less time buying guns to defend yourself, and more time taking up the armor of God (Ephesians 6, Luke 12:4). Spend less time with political campaigning, and more time evangelizing. Take the command “Do not worry about anything” (Philippians 4:6) for what it is — a commandment — and quit worrying about the latest social media fueled panic, whether it be Ebola, dumping ice on your head, or a Mayor in Texas who trying to get copies of sermons. Speaking of which, sermons are meant to be read and to be disagreed with. I don’t see the problem here. Luke 11:49, John 15:20, and especially Romans 12:14 back that up.

Bottom line, you are not your own protector, and you are not the judge of mankind. So instead of trying to be those things, hope in the One who truly is. If you are still reading, I appreciate your time and attention. If you are mad, I am sorry that you are mad. I genuinely am. It is my desire to approach these topics with a blend of humor, logic, and scripture, and if I have not succeeded in doing that well, then I apologize. But I am not sorry for the principle behind it. As always, feel free to email me with questions, concerns or issues at wannabedeadguy@gmail.com

Thank you, and God bless.

- Robert

A Theology of Provision and Pizza

       I am sure I'm not the only one who has noticed that God will sometimes use seasons of your life to teach you one or two very large, and sometimes very difficult lessons. That's not to say that you won't learn other smaller stuff too, but it just seems that sometimes life will have a bit of a theme to it, and I don't think for a second that it that way is by accident.
One of those major themes for me as of the past year or so, has been God's intent on teaching me a theology of His provision. This is not an uncommon thing for bible college students to learn, mind you! The first time you move out of your parent's home and begin a career and education in ministry you are bound to learn two things: 1st, that you have needs. A lot of them. 2nd, that God will provide for them. All of them.
However, while many of us have, at one time or another, heard teachings of the provision of God, I think it is still possible that our theology, in other words how we think about God's provision, could still be very flawed. Some people tend to think that God's provision is something that is accomplished through your own hard work. In other words, "God helps those who help themselves." I actually think this is not only wrong, but a low degree of blasphemy. Because when you take the credit for providing for yourself, you then assume (intentionally or not) the title of Provider, which does not belong to you. It is God's title, for He holds the universe together by the power of His Word, and not you. You could not even hold on to your own breath for more than a couple of minutes before you are forced to surrender it to Him, and beg for another.
So no, I am not excusing laziness, but yes, I am saying you can't take credit for your own success, for it either comes from God as a blessing, or from Satan as a distraction. Secondly, a common attitude I hear is, "God wants me to be wealthy." It is this attitude in particular I would like to go after tonight. While being a college student, as previously mentioned, I have learned that I have needs, and I am poor. I am often unable to provide for those needs myself, and I am forced to turn to others for aid, especially my parents who have been more help than I could ever say.
But It has been a constant theme in my life, that when I have a deficit of something, be it time, money, resources, what ever, God sends a person into my life with a surplus of that specific thing, in that specific quantity. He does not, however, give me the winning lottery numbers. Likewise, when I have found myself blessed beyond my needs in a specific area like time, money, etc, He will usually place someone in my life with a corresponding deficit in that specific area, and often in that specific amount. In other words, my excess is usually somebody else's enough, and visa versa.
For a biblical example of this, let's look back at the story of Jesus feeding the 5,000. When Jesus asked for food, the boy gave up his fish. After Christ divided and multiplied them, the boy did not ask for them back and immediately open up a 24-hour "fish and bread supermarket" in first century Palestine. He ended up with lunch, and no more, just like everybody else. Now here is where prosperity gospel preachers would jump up crying foul, with the question, "What about the twelve baskets left over?" as their reply, their tone smug enough to match their greedy, shiny smiles.
Well, depending on how many woman and children there were besides the 5,000 men, the crowd could have been as much as 20,000, conservatively speaking (allowing for one wife and two children, which is a ridiculously low estimate in that culture). Probably more like 25 to 30k or more. 12 baskets amongst a crowd that large is nothing. It's crumbs. Table scraps. It's one basket full (probably not a large basket either, because it was just the kind they had on hand with them in the desert) for every 2,000 people or more.  In other words, they really had just enough. Most professional caterers couldn't get that close with portion sizes at an event that large even if they rationed it out.
I saw this play out on a much smaller scale at a youth event my church held recently. We bought pizza, and asked people to bring a suggested $2 donation for it. Several people couldn't pay however, and even with the $2 from everyone else, it woulda been short. Funny thing though, 1 person dropped a $20 in and two others dropped $5's, and it ended up just $4 short of the total cost of pizza for 30 people. At first I thought, "hmm, 4 bucks short. Dang." And then I realized that I and one other sponsor had pizza too. There was the missing $4. For me, it  just further exemplifies the fact that God provides just enough. And on a small scale, it partially illustrates why I believe ministers should never be exempt from tithing. I'm the youth pastor, but even I should put the $2 bucks in to round out the number.
Going back to the story of the fish, if God could bless 5,000 with 5 loaves and two fish, imagine what he could do with the 12 basketfuls leftover? Simply put, I believe the excess belongs to God, and I believe that is the true spirit of tithing. You could enjoy the abundance of it, or somebody else could enjoy the sufficiency of it in fulfilling their needs, as opposed to it simply satisfying your desires.
Now if you want to get hung up on how small and possibly random that one isolated event was, that's cool. If you want to say I'm misinterpreting the passage, that's your prerogative. But if you do, be ready for me to spend an hour telling you more stories just like it. Talk to any pastor, I bet they've got em in even greater abundance than I do! Ultimately no, I'm not suggesting we base or entire theology of money on a youth group's pizza party. But what I am saying is that we should be exceedingly vigilant in our own lives to watch for the very specific provision of God, and the very ironic needs of those around us.
Essentially, I do not believe God wants you or I to be wealthy. I believe He wants us to be generous. And in my experience, if I enjoy excess, it's almost always because I have ignored the immediate needs of someone around me to get it. The only thing I think the Christian should really have too much of is Joy. And the funny thing is, I'm finding that same Joy is often the result of giving away my own surplus to meet the needs of another.

Know Thyself

One of the greatest challenges American teens face today, is the task of trying to answer a single, seemingly very crucial question. This one question has become so important, and so essential to a teen's life and social acceptance, that sometimes culture even tries answer it for them, often with heartbreaking results. It is the simple, difficult, always over-simplified question, "What is special about me?"

In today's highly individualistic American society, the value of a single individual is touted above all others. To find an example of this, simply look at Hollywood. Every movie and tv show out there features one or two main characters, and they are usually people who are the best at something. Either by accident, by nature, or in very rare cases by experience, the heroins in today's media all have one thing in common: whether they realize it or not, they are special. Something about them sets them apart from the crowd, and makes them valuable in at least one major aspect of their lives. Often in the stories, it begins as social awkwardness, and transforms into something beneficial. This concept is intoxicating to the teenage ego, and almost impossible to resist pursuing.  After all, not only does the idea of being special stroke a person's pride, it also gives them a sense of justification for the way they are. If, by some turn of fortune, their flaws aren't really flaws, then life becomes suddenly easier, and more tolerable.

The desire to emulate this, and receive the same kind of respect and acceptance as the television characters do is extremely enticing to young adults and teenagers. As humanity is often prone to doing, they begin to identify with that which they idolize. But what happens when the majority starts identifying with the uncommon, and thereby trying to imitate them? What happens when every one believes they are one-in-a-million, and have no need for continued personal growth? Well suddenly, everybody begins to think and act like they are special just the way they are, and we are back to where we started, except worse. Now, nobody but the unbalanced, over driven few can ever separate themselves from the pack, and those that used to be considered average are left in the dust as the outcasts. Out of a desire to still be accepted and to feel valuable, even they try to justify their status as "special" outcasts — believing to be cast off for their truly superior nature, which the rest of the culture simply can't understand. Ultimately though, nobody really feels special, and nobody improves.

The other problem is, since all of the characters on tv somehow either stumbled into their incredible skills, or were born with them only end up suddenly achieving greatness one day, the concept of earning your specialty is all but lost. Examples are not hard to find; Peter Parker goes from zero to hero over night (The Amazing Spider Man), a girl is born mysteriously possessing natural skill in every type of culturally acceptable vocation (Divergent), A princess is born with power over ice which she hides up until the moment she decides to "let it go" and become the powerful, self assured queen she was always destined to be (Frozen), and the list goes on. Teens are fed stories of people with extraordinary "specialness," and told by well intended teachers, preachers, motivational speakers, and parents that they have something special too, and they eat it up. Nobody is told that they aren't special until they earn it.

Before leaving the subject of motivation however, let me broach another aspect of the issue. I do not think pride is the only motivation behind this push for everybody to find their "specialness." In fact, I think there is an even deeper issue than pride behind much of it, and that's the problem of insecurity. Go look at facebook for for teen minutes, and see how many posts you find that sound anything like this: "Find Out What Your Eye Color Means About Your Personality" or, "Which Disney Princess Are You?" or especially, "Find Out if You're an Introvert, Extrovert, or Ambivert." All of these questionnaires are harmless in and of themselves, but their staggering popularity has had me wondering about the root issue behind them.

Ultimately, I think it boils down to a lack of identity. I think it's a bunch of people who really don't know how to be authentic, and are looking for either instructions on how to act, or justification for their current personality. They're looking for something that can tell them it's ok to be the way that they are, and there's an explanation behind their personalities. It's the same thing behind their idolizing of characters in popular media, they're seeking validation. Essentially, it comes back to a person's desire to be different from what they perceive as average, and to feel that they are special.

Unfortunately, this system breaks down in a few areas. To begin with, all of humanity's purpose, every single individual's chief end, is to glorify God. If you are one of the few blessed with a special talent, it's because you were meant to glorify God with it. If you are not possessing of any talent which fits into the realm of socially, morally, and scripturally acceptable talents, then perhaps you were meant to glorify God in a more direct method. I mean simply by praising him with your heart, soul, voice, life, actions, and whatever else you can muster. In fact, it's not really such a foreign concept, scripturally speaking, to think that glorifying God might not at any point actually bring any glory to us. If you have a special talent, then that's great! Use it for Him. But if not, you aren't entitled to one, and you certainly don't need one to fulfill your intended purpose. Ultimately, it's not about us, it's about Him.

But that's not all there is to it. In fact, if you want to be really hardline with it, you could almost say that anytime we humans receive glory in the process of glorifying God, we are doing it wrong. I'm not saying God will not glorify us one day for faithful service simply out of the generosity of His incredible heart, and I'm not saying He can't be glorified through us, but I am saying that we are not deserving of a single ounce of human praise for ourselves. God, on the other hand, deserves it all. When we take some of that from Him, we are steeling what doesn't belong to us. Not only that, but when we give glory to others which rightfully belongs to God, we are committing a sin called "idolatry." Idolatry is defined as worshipping anything that is not God, and worship is defined as a profound love or admiration for, or showing extreme devotion to, a person, place, thing or deity. Therefore to show profound admiration (beyond healthy respect) to something other than God is idolatry, plain, uncomfortable, and simple.

I'm not saying it's wrong to be special, to have talents, and to pursue excellence. What I am saying, is that God is not looking for special people who want to be admired. He's looking for people who have a special desire to glorify Him. It's ok to stand out, just make sure it's for the right reasons. And most importantly, know that your identity in Christ has nothing to do with your skills and talents, but it has everything to do with your love of the One True Living God. Do not simply subscribe to the age-old proverb, "know thyself," as if it is something you may do on your own. Rather, begin by knowing thy Creator, then through Him come to know thy purpose, and finally by these things know thyself.

"What to do When The Gates of Hell Put Out a Welcome Mat"

I've been a Christian for many years, in ministry for 3, and a youth pastor for about 6 months. Over the course of this experience, I've realized two very troublesome facts. The first, is that the vast majority of people I've ever met or even read about are incredibly friendly, logical, committed, and open with their beliefs. And the second, is that this is an incredibly dangerous thing. Bear in mind, I meant everyone, not just Christians. I'm talking everyone from pagans, to satanists, to atheists, to agnostics, to heretical sects of "psudo-christianity" like Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses. All of them, across the board, have been welcoming and seemingly logical with their beliefs.
So why is this such a bad thing? Don't we want to live in a friendly society? Well, yes! The problem is we aren't prepared for that. More specifically, Christian kids aren't being prepared for that. What I've realized, is that Christian movies, media, churches and parents are all setting kids up to combat hardline atheists who just want to argue about evolution, and who are really all just running away from the God who, deep down, they know actually exists. Well I have yet to meet one of those atheists. In reality, I've talked to many non-christians and atheists, and not a single one of them has given a rip about creationism vs. evolution. Further more, non of them had become atheists because of some life-altering death or tragedy which in turn caused them to hate God for "taking that person away from me," or "letting that happen to me," as almost every Christian movie ever made portrays them doing.
Instead, they have all had very solid and reasonable reasons for their unbelief. In fact, some of them even had atheist parents, which means that rather than coming to their unbelief through any kind of rebellion against legalistic religion, they were literally born into it. Such a person may really and truly be telling the truth when they say they don't believe God exists. Imagine that. But not only do we have the genuine unbelievers, but on the opposite end of the spectrum there are those who are atheists simply because they are lazy. Atheism is, after all, the easiest thing in the world to believe, it just takes a little secular science and some serious apathy and you're there. Don't want to have to worry about consequences for immoral but not physically detrimental behavior (if there truly is such)? Then atheism is very convenient. Having a difficult time understanding the complexities of Christian Theology? Simply label them as contradictions and move on to "enlightenment."
Now somewhere in the middle there is another group, and they are probably the most common, and the most determined. These are the ones who have found "genuine peace and happiness" from their atheism or other pagan worldview. I would call this genuine wish fulfillment and self-gratification, but that's only true from where I stand. To them, it's as real as it gets. To make matters even more difficult, some non-believers were horribly abused and hurt by people in their lives claiming to be Christian, and for them turning away from that perverted form of religion provided some of the first safety they had ever experienced. Now from where we stand there is a distinction, but from their point of view it's all the same name. It's all religion, it's all judgmental, and it's easier just to do away with all of it that to try and pick apart the good from the bad, especially when the good reminds you of the bad.
All of these attitudes thrive in our American culture centered around the individual's happiness. After all, happiness is one of those three things we are all told we are entitled to back in 2nd grade. Here, everyone is encouraged to find a belief that works for them specifically,  even if it has to be made up. Find the thing that makes you happy, and smile at the rest of the world as they walk by. How dare anyone else try and tell you what you should feel, how you should live, or what you should believe? These are the messages that are pulling people out away from the faith in droves. These are the beliefs that are producing glowing testimonials from people who have never been happier than they are now. People who have finally found what matters to them in life. People who are finally able to love themselves. And we are the ones telling them that's all wrong? What's more, our kids are the ones walking into their schools, and their culture, expecting to find tortured souls but instead encountering liberated individuals experiencing happiness and "self actualization?"
Something has to change, and I highly doubt it will be the culture. Rather, I believe it is time for the Church to start partnering with parents to educate and equip our kids more deliberately than we have in the past. Teach them the difference between temporary happiness and lasting joy, and most importantly, show them the joy we experience in every day settings, offering it to them until it becomes theirs too. Prove that the Christian faith truly is safer and more welcoming than the world around it. And what if we don't have that Joy? what if we aren't that safe? Then it's our responsibility to fix that. In years past the church has combatted the culture by remaining pure in the midst of debauchery, by providing selfless humanitarian charity in the midst of rampant selfishness, and by providing a sense of community in an individualistic society. Today, we must continue to do all of those things while also simultaneously adapting to face the new countermeasures of the world around us. Today it is our responsibility as the body of Christ to put on display the joy which we claim, not only as a solution for the pain of the world, but also as the truly superior alternative to any kind of happiness found anywhere else. We don't just have what is right, we have what is better, and it is time to show it.

"You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to you Father who is in heaven."
Matthew 5:14-16

"Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing"

My life seems to move through different stages and themes, as God uses different groupings of circumstances and teachings to bring about new and increasingly refining lessons for me. Last year, the theme was something along the lines of perseverance. I experienced some very challenging and difficult circumstances, including but not limited to, a broken leg, moving to another state, starting college, starting a new job, dealing with many challenging relationships, and much more that God used in my life to accomplish His purposes. It was a time in my life I'm not to keen on repeating! However, it was a time God used powerfully in my life to accomplish His purposes in me.

Now, I'm not saying God broke my leg, caused strife in my relationships, and piled my schedule so full I could barely breath. In fact, I did most of that! But I am saying that God made 100% use of the opportunities to bring me closer to Him in the end. This year, He is building on that foundation, and has been very clearly focussed on teaching me about the desires of the heart. My heart, other's hearts, His heart. I see blessings come left and right for those who's hearts desire fulfillment in God's joy. Likewise, and just as consistently, I see self-inflicted heartache and pain any time anyone, including my self, starts to desire anything or anyone any more than they desire the Holy Spirit in any way.

That's kind of a tricky sentence, but it's important so I'll say it again. I see self-inflicted heartache and pain any time anyone, including my self, starts to desire anything or anyone any more than they desire the Holy Spirit in any way.

Let me explain a bit. If I seek validation in ministry or friends, there is sure to be a short supply of it in my heart, and I find myself emptier than before I started looking. But if I desire validation from the Holy Spirit, not only is it constantly, and immediately available from Him, but also from all of those around me who see His image reflected through me. As it turns out, people are attracted to anything which bears resemblance to their maker. In addition, when I see people seeking out any kind of emotional fulfillment of any need in another person, it sucks both of them dry, and leaves their prospective relationship in shambles.

To give an example, I won't use anybody I know personally (although I have seen it many times), but rather draw from a biblical story probably everyone is familiar with. In this instance, the story of King David and Bathsheba in 2nd Samuel. Often times this story is played off as a simple example of sexual lust over-taking a man's character, but I (and several biblical commentators) think there is more to it. In chapter 21, David is confronted by a second Philistine Giant (Not Goliath), but this time he is an old man and would have been defeated had his soldiers not come to his aid. After this near defeat, David's men asked him to stay back in Jerusalem during war, lest their King be killed in battle.

Now, in the book of 2nd Samuel, this story occurs over ten chapters after the incident with Bathsheba, but it is widely accepted by contemporary scholars that the custom with Jewish historians was to sacrifice chronological order for the sake of proving a theological point. Because of this, it is believed they chose to include this story after Bathsheba for the sake of illustrating David's success before he sinned with her, and his weakness afterward. To show him being defeated before that would have less effectively illustrated their point. Although either way, the story holds true. Ultimately though, it is because of this instance that David is left behind in Jerusalem, while all the men are out fighting a war. This in turn opens the door for his subsequent temptation and fall.

Now try and put yourself in the shoes of David. He's been known his entire life as a mighty warrior, who was previously undefeated in battle. He has now been defeated in his old age, and asked by his commanders to stay at home. It's not hard to imagine he would be feeling pretty devastated, and likely searching for a way to validate himself as a man. In comes Bathsheba. From where he is standing David sees her bathing in the confines of her home, and is understandably attracted to her. There are two problems with this however: First, she is not his wife. Secondly, his pursuit of her is motivated by a need to fill the void in his heart created by his own inadequacy.

Even David, a man after God's own heart, is not immune from the inescapable need to feel validated as a person. But instead of turning to God, and finding his value and Joy in the outpouring and blessings of the Holy Spirit, he turned to Bathsheba. How often do we see the same thing happen to our brothers and sisters, and yes, even ourselves? Because the romantic relationship between a man and woman, and even the platonic friendship between two friends was meant to reflect the relationship between our hearts and God's, it is not surprising that our sinful hearts would so readily turn to other people for that validation and joy we so desperately crave. But what happens when two people, both trying to have their own needs filled, cling to each other expecting to find fulfillment, and instead find the same broken emptiness in their partner? The result is always the same, they find pain.

As a result of David's infidelity (2nd Samuel 12:12-14), the child that was conceived died (2nd Samuel 12) and David's son raped his sister (2nd Samuel 13). So much pain brought about as a result of one man's failure to take joy in God, and instead seek it out in human relationships. Now afterwards David was exceedingly repentful, asking God to create in him a new heart (Psalm 51:10-12) and restore him to the joy of the Holy Spirit. As a result of his repentance (1 John 1:9), God restored peace to his house, and blessed him with a second son by Bathsheba (2nd Samuel 12:24-25), who became known as King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived. But this was only possible once David had once again learned to find peace and affirmation in the Heart of God, rather than another human being.

So in the end, what is the key to healthy relationships with other people? It is simple in principe, though it may be hard for many of us to learn. Each of us must first seek our fulfillment and validation from the Holy Spirit, and then come together to share the resulting abundance with one another. Human relationships are not meant to take the place of constant and daily communion with the Holy Spirit, but rather to provide a venue for people to share the love of Christ which they have received an abundance of, and that they cannot keep to themselves. By this kind of joyful community, we will each begin to find that fulfillment, acceptance, love, joy, and peace we so strongly desire, and it will be perfect. Not lacking in anything, and completely untainted by sin.

For proof of this, take a look at some of David's other Psalms, and find words written out of pure joy in The Lord. May we all seek to experience this same joy, every day.

Psalm 23: 5b-6
"You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.