One of the greatest challenges American teens face today, is the task of trying to answer a single, seemingly very crucial question. This one question has become so important, and so essential to a teen's life and social acceptance, that sometimes culture even tries answer it for them, often with heartbreaking results. It is the simple, difficult, always over-simplified question, "What is special about me?"
In today's highly individualistic American society, the value of a single individual is touted above all others. To find an example of this, simply look at Hollywood. Every movie and tv show out there features one or two main characters, and they are usually people who are the best at something. Either by accident, by nature, or in very rare cases by experience, the heroins in today's media all have one thing in common: whether they realize it or not, they are special. Something about them sets them apart from the crowd, and makes them valuable in at least one major aspect of their lives. Often in the stories, it begins as social awkwardness, and transforms into something beneficial. This concept is intoxicating to the teenage ego, and almost impossible to resist pursuing. After all, not only does the idea of being special stroke a person's pride, it also gives them a sense of justification for the way they are. If, by some turn of fortune, their flaws aren't really flaws, then life becomes suddenly easier, and more tolerable.
The desire to emulate this, and receive the same kind of respect and acceptance as the television characters do is extremely enticing to young adults and teenagers. As humanity is often prone to doing, they begin to identify with that which they idolize. But what happens when the majority starts identifying with the uncommon, and thereby trying to imitate them? What happens when every one believes they are one-in-a-million, and have no need for continued personal growth? Well suddenly, everybody begins to think and act like they are special just the way they are, and we are back to where we started, except worse. Now, nobody but the unbalanced, over driven few can ever separate themselves from the pack, and those that used to be considered average are left in the dust as the outcasts. Out of a desire to still be accepted and to feel valuable, even they try to justify their status as "special" outcasts — believing to be cast off for their truly superior nature, which the rest of the culture simply can't understand. Ultimately though, nobody really feels special, and nobody improves.
The other problem is, since all of the characters on tv somehow either stumbled into their incredible skills, or were born with them only end up suddenly achieving greatness one day, the concept of earning your specialty is all but lost. Examples are not hard to find; Peter Parker goes from zero to hero over night (The Amazing Spider Man), a girl is born mysteriously possessing natural skill in every type of culturally acceptable vocation (Divergent), A princess is born with power over ice which she hides up until the moment she decides to "let it go" and become the powerful, self assured queen she was always destined to be (Frozen), and the list goes on. Teens are fed stories of people with extraordinary "specialness," and told by well intended teachers, preachers, motivational speakers, and parents that they have something special too, and they eat it up. Nobody is told that they aren't special until they earn it.
Before leaving the subject of motivation however, let me broach another aspect of the issue. I do not think pride is the only motivation behind this push for everybody to find their "specialness." In fact, I think there is an even deeper issue than pride behind much of it, and that's the problem of insecurity. Go look at facebook for for teen minutes, and see how many posts you find that sound anything like this: "Find Out What Your Eye Color Means About Your Personality" or, "Which Disney Princess Are You?" or especially, "Find Out if You're an Introvert, Extrovert, or Ambivert." All of these questionnaires are harmless in and of themselves, but their staggering popularity has had me wondering about the root issue behind them.
Ultimately, I think it boils down to a lack of identity. I think it's a bunch of people who really don't know how to be authentic, and are looking for either instructions on how to act, or justification for their current personality. They're looking for something that can tell them it's ok to be the way that they are, and there's an explanation behind their personalities. It's the same thing behind their idolizing of characters in popular media, they're seeking validation. Essentially, it comes back to a person's desire to be different from what they perceive as average, and to feel that they are special.
Unfortunately, this system breaks down in a few areas. To begin with, all of humanity's purpose, every single individual's chief end, is to glorify God. If you are one of the few blessed with a special talent, it's because you were meant to glorify God with it. If you are not possessing of any talent which fits into the realm of socially, morally, and scripturally acceptable talents, then perhaps you were meant to glorify God in a more direct method. I mean simply by praising him with your heart, soul, voice, life, actions, and whatever else you can muster. In fact, it's not really such a foreign concept, scripturally speaking, to think that glorifying God might not at any point actually bring any glory to us. If you have a special talent, then that's great! Use it for Him. But if not, you aren't entitled to one, and you certainly don't need one to fulfill your intended purpose. Ultimately, it's not about us, it's about Him.
But that's not all there is to it. In fact, if you want to be really hardline with it, you could almost say that anytime we humans receive glory in the process of glorifying God, we are doing it wrong. I'm not saying God will not glorify us one day for faithful service simply out of the generosity of His incredible heart, and I'm not saying He can't be glorified through us, but I am saying that we are not deserving of a single ounce of human praise for ourselves. God, on the other hand, deserves it all. When we take some of that from Him, we are steeling what doesn't belong to us. Not only that, but when we give glory to others which rightfully belongs to God, we are committing a sin called "idolatry." Idolatry is defined as worshipping anything that is not God, and worship is defined as a profound love or admiration for, or showing extreme devotion to, a person, place, thing or deity. Therefore to show profound admiration (beyond healthy respect) to something other than God is idolatry, plain, uncomfortable, and simple.
I'm not saying it's wrong to be special, to have talents, and to pursue excellence. What I am saying, is that God is not looking for special people who want to be admired. He's looking for people who have a special desire to glorify Him. It's ok to stand out, just make sure it's for the right reasons. And most importantly, know that your identity in Christ has nothing to do with your skills and talents, but it has everything to do with your love of the One True Living God. Do not simply subscribe to the age-old proverb, "know thyself," as if it is something you may do on your own. Rather, begin by knowing thy Creator, then through Him come to know thy purpose, and finally by these things know thyself.
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
"What to do When The Gates of Hell Put Out a Welcome Mat"
So why is this such a bad thing? Don't we want to live in a friendly society? Well, yes! The problem is we aren't prepared for that. More specifically, Christian kids aren't being prepared for that. What I've realized, is that Christian movies, media, churches and parents are all setting kids up to combat hardline atheists who just want to argue about evolution, and who are really all just running away from the God who, deep down, they know actually exists. Well I have yet to meet one of those atheists. In reality, I've talked to many non-christians and atheists, and not a single one of them has given a rip about creationism vs. evolution. Further more, non of them had become atheists because of some life-altering death or tragedy which in turn caused them to hate God for "taking that person away from me," or "letting that happen to me," as almost every Christian movie ever made portrays them doing.
Instead, they have all had very solid and reasonable reasons for their unbelief. In fact, some of them even had atheist parents, which means that rather than coming to their unbelief through any kind of rebellion against legalistic religion, they were literally born into it. Such a person may really and truly be telling the truth when they say they don't believe God exists. Imagine that. But not only do we have the genuine unbelievers, but on the opposite end of the spectrum there are those who are atheists simply because they are lazy. Atheism is, after all, the easiest thing in the world to believe, it just takes a little secular science and some serious apathy and you're there. Don't want to have to worry about consequences for immoral but not physically detrimental behavior (if there truly is such)? Then atheism is very convenient. Having a difficult time understanding the complexities of Christian Theology? Simply label them as contradictions and move on to "enlightenment."
Now somewhere in the middle there is another group, and they are probably the most common, and the most determined. These are the ones who have found "genuine peace and happiness" from their atheism or other pagan worldview. I would call this genuine wish fulfillment and self-gratification, but that's only true from where I stand. To them, it's as real as it gets. To make matters even more difficult, some non-believers were horribly abused and hurt by people in their lives claiming to be Christian, and for them turning away from that perverted form of religion provided some of the first safety they had ever experienced. Now from where we stand there is a distinction, but from their point of view it's all the same name. It's all religion, it's all judgmental, and it's easier just to do away with all of it that to try and pick apart the good from the bad, especially when the good reminds you of the bad.
All of these attitudes thrive in our American culture centered around the individual's happiness. After all, happiness is one of those three things we are all told we are entitled to back in 2nd grade. Here, everyone is encouraged to find a belief that works for them specifically, even if it has to be made up. Find the thing that makes you happy, and smile at the rest of the world as they walk by. How dare anyone else try and tell you what you should feel, how you should live, or what you should believe? These are the messages that are pulling people out away from the faith in droves. These are the beliefs that are producing glowing testimonials from people who have never been happier than they are now. People who have finally found what matters to them in life. People who are finally able to love themselves. And we are the ones telling them that's all wrong? What's more, our kids are the ones walking into their schools, and their culture, expecting to find tortured souls but instead encountering liberated individuals experiencing happiness and "self actualization?"
Something has to change, and I highly doubt it will be the culture. Rather, I believe it is time for the Church to start partnering with parents to educate and equip our kids more deliberately than we have in the past. Teach them the difference between temporary happiness and lasting joy, and most importantly, show them the joy we experience in every day settings, offering it to them until it becomes theirs too. Prove that the Christian faith truly is safer and more welcoming than the world around it. And what if we don't have that Joy? what if we aren't that safe? Then it's our responsibility to fix that. In years past the church has combatted the culture by remaining pure in the midst of debauchery, by providing selfless humanitarian charity in the midst of rampant selfishness, and by providing a sense of community in an individualistic society. Today, we must continue to do all of those things while also simultaneously adapting to face the new countermeasures of the world around us. Today it is our responsibility as the body of Christ to put on display the joy which we claim, not only as a solution for the pain of the world, but also as the truly superior alternative to any kind of happiness found anywhere else. We don't just have what is right, we have what is better, and it is time to show it.
"You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to you Father who is in heaven."
Matthew 5:14-16
"Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing"
My life seems to move through different stages and themes, as God uses different groupings of circumstances and teachings to bring about new and increasingly refining lessons for me. Last year, the theme was something along the lines of perseverance. I experienced some very challenging and difficult circumstances, including but not limited to, a broken leg, moving to another state, starting college, starting a new job, dealing with many challenging relationships, and much more that God used in my life to accomplish His purposes. It was a time in my life I'm not to keen on repeating! However, it was a time God used powerfully in my life to accomplish His purposes in me.
Now, I'm not saying God broke my leg, caused strife in my relationships, and piled my schedule so full I could barely breath. In fact, I did most of that! But I am saying that God made 100% use of the opportunities to bring me closer to Him in the end. This year, He is building on that foundation, and has been very clearly focussed on teaching me about the desires of the heart. My heart, other's hearts, His heart. I see blessings come left and right for those who's hearts desire fulfillment in God's joy. Likewise, and just as consistently, I see self-inflicted heartache and pain any time anyone, including my self, starts to desire anything or anyone any more than they desire the Holy Spirit in any way.
That's kind of a tricky sentence, but it's important so I'll say it again. I see self-inflicted heartache and pain any time anyone, including my self, starts to desire anything or anyone any more than they desire the Holy Spirit in any way.
Let me explain a bit. If I seek validation in ministry or friends, there is sure to be a short supply of it in my heart, and I find myself emptier than before I started looking. But if I desire validation from the Holy Spirit, not only is it constantly, and immediately available from Him, but also from all of those around me who see His image reflected through me. As it turns out, people are attracted to anything which bears resemblance to their maker. In addition, when I see people seeking out any kind of emotional fulfillment of any need in another person, it sucks both of them dry, and leaves their prospective relationship in shambles.
To give an example, I won't use anybody I know personally (although I have seen it many times), but rather draw from a biblical story probably everyone is familiar with. In this instance, the story of King David and Bathsheba in 2nd Samuel. Often times this story is played off as a simple example of sexual lust over-taking a man's character, but I (and several biblical commentators) think there is more to it. In chapter 21, David is confronted by a second Philistine Giant (Not Goliath), but this time he is an old man and would have been defeated had his soldiers not come to his aid. After this near defeat, David's men asked him to stay back in Jerusalem during war, lest their King be killed in battle.
Now, in the book of 2nd Samuel, this story occurs over ten chapters after the incident with Bathsheba, but it is widely accepted by contemporary scholars that the custom with Jewish historians was to sacrifice chronological order for the sake of proving a theological point. Because of this, it is believed they chose to include this story after Bathsheba for the sake of illustrating David's success before he sinned with her, and his weakness afterward. To show him being defeated before that would have less effectively illustrated their point. Although either way, the story holds true. Ultimately though, it is because of this instance that David is left behind in Jerusalem, while all the men are out fighting a war. This in turn opens the door for his subsequent temptation and fall.
Now try and put yourself in the shoes of David. He's been known his entire life as a mighty warrior, who was previously undefeated in battle. He has now been defeated in his old age, and asked by his commanders to stay at home. It's not hard to imagine he would be feeling pretty devastated, and likely searching for a way to validate himself as a man. In comes Bathsheba. From where he is standing David sees her bathing in the confines of her home, and is understandably attracted to her. There are two problems with this however: First, she is not his wife. Secondly, his pursuit of her is motivated by a need to fill the void in his heart created by his own inadequacy.
Even David, a man after God's own heart, is not immune from the inescapable need to feel validated as a person. But instead of turning to God, and finding his value and Joy in the outpouring and blessings of the Holy Spirit, he turned to Bathsheba. How often do we see the same thing happen to our brothers and sisters, and yes, even ourselves? Because the romantic relationship between a man and woman, and even the platonic friendship between two friends was meant to reflect the relationship between our hearts and God's, it is not surprising that our sinful hearts would so readily turn to other people for that validation and joy we so desperately crave. But what happens when two people, both trying to have their own needs filled, cling to each other expecting to find fulfillment, and instead find the same broken emptiness in their partner? The result is always the same, they find pain.
As a result of David's infidelity (2nd Samuel 12:12-14), the child that was conceived died (2nd Samuel 12) and David's son raped his sister (2nd Samuel 13). So much pain brought about as a result of one man's failure to take joy in God, and instead seek it out in human relationships. Now afterwards David was exceedingly repentful, asking God to create in him a new heart (Psalm 51:10-12) and restore him to the joy of the Holy Spirit. As a result of his repentance (1 John 1:9), God restored peace to his house, and blessed him with a second son by Bathsheba (2nd Samuel 12:24-25), who became known as King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived. But this was only possible once David had once again learned to find peace and affirmation in the Heart of God, rather than another human being.
So in the end, what is the key to healthy relationships with other people? It is simple in principe, though it may be hard for many of us to learn. Each of us must first seek our fulfillment and validation from the Holy Spirit, and then come together to share the resulting abundance with one another. Human relationships are not meant to take the place of constant and daily communion with the Holy Spirit, but rather to provide a venue for people to share the love of Christ which they have received an abundance of, and that they cannot keep to themselves. By this kind of joyful community, we will each begin to find that fulfillment, acceptance, love, joy, and peace we so strongly desire, and it will be perfect. Not lacking in anything, and completely untainted by sin.
For proof of this, take a look at some of David's other Psalms, and find words written out of pure joy in The Lord. May we all seek to experience this same joy, every day.
Psalm 23: 5b-6
"You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
Now, I'm not saying God broke my leg, caused strife in my relationships, and piled my schedule so full I could barely breath. In fact, I did most of that! But I am saying that God made 100% use of the opportunities to bring me closer to Him in the end. This year, He is building on that foundation, and has been very clearly focussed on teaching me about the desires of the heart. My heart, other's hearts, His heart. I see blessings come left and right for those who's hearts desire fulfillment in God's joy. Likewise, and just as consistently, I see self-inflicted heartache and pain any time anyone, including my self, starts to desire anything or anyone any more than they desire the Holy Spirit in any way.
That's kind of a tricky sentence, but it's important so I'll say it again. I see self-inflicted heartache and pain any time anyone, including my self, starts to desire anything or anyone any more than they desire the Holy Spirit in any way.
Let me explain a bit. If I seek validation in ministry or friends, there is sure to be a short supply of it in my heart, and I find myself emptier than before I started looking. But if I desire validation from the Holy Spirit, not only is it constantly, and immediately available from Him, but also from all of those around me who see His image reflected through me. As it turns out, people are attracted to anything which bears resemblance to their maker. In addition, when I see people seeking out any kind of emotional fulfillment of any need in another person, it sucks both of them dry, and leaves their prospective relationship in shambles.
To give an example, I won't use anybody I know personally (although I have seen it many times), but rather draw from a biblical story probably everyone is familiar with. In this instance, the story of King David and Bathsheba in 2nd Samuel. Often times this story is played off as a simple example of sexual lust over-taking a man's character, but I (and several biblical commentators) think there is more to it. In chapter 21, David is confronted by a second Philistine Giant (Not Goliath), but this time he is an old man and would have been defeated had his soldiers not come to his aid. After this near defeat, David's men asked him to stay back in Jerusalem during war, lest their King be killed in battle.
Now, in the book of 2nd Samuel, this story occurs over ten chapters after the incident with Bathsheba, but it is widely accepted by contemporary scholars that the custom with Jewish historians was to sacrifice chronological order for the sake of proving a theological point. Because of this, it is believed they chose to include this story after Bathsheba for the sake of illustrating David's success before he sinned with her, and his weakness afterward. To show him being defeated before that would have less effectively illustrated their point. Although either way, the story holds true. Ultimately though, it is because of this instance that David is left behind in Jerusalem, while all the men are out fighting a war. This in turn opens the door for his subsequent temptation and fall.
Now try and put yourself in the shoes of David. He's been known his entire life as a mighty warrior, who was previously undefeated in battle. He has now been defeated in his old age, and asked by his commanders to stay at home. It's not hard to imagine he would be feeling pretty devastated, and likely searching for a way to validate himself as a man. In comes Bathsheba. From where he is standing David sees her bathing in the confines of her home, and is understandably attracted to her. There are two problems with this however: First, she is not his wife. Secondly, his pursuit of her is motivated by a need to fill the void in his heart created by his own inadequacy.
Even David, a man after God's own heart, is not immune from the inescapable need to feel validated as a person. But instead of turning to God, and finding his value and Joy in the outpouring and blessings of the Holy Spirit, he turned to Bathsheba. How often do we see the same thing happen to our brothers and sisters, and yes, even ourselves? Because the romantic relationship between a man and woman, and even the platonic friendship between two friends was meant to reflect the relationship between our hearts and God's, it is not surprising that our sinful hearts would so readily turn to other people for that validation and joy we so desperately crave. But what happens when two people, both trying to have their own needs filled, cling to each other expecting to find fulfillment, and instead find the same broken emptiness in their partner? The result is always the same, they find pain.
As a result of David's infidelity (2nd Samuel 12:12-14), the child that was conceived died (2nd Samuel 12) and David's son raped his sister (2nd Samuel 13). So much pain brought about as a result of one man's failure to take joy in God, and instead seek it out in human relationships. Now afterwards David was exceedingly repentful, asking God to create in him a new heart (Psalm 51:10-12) and restore him to the joy of the Holy Spirit. As a result of his repentance (1 John 1:9), God restored peace to his house, and blessed him with a second son by Bathsheba (2nd Samuel 12:24-25), who became known as King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived. But this was only possible once David had once again learned to find peace and affirmation in the Heart of God, rather than another human being.
So in the end, what is the key to healthy relationships with other people? It is simple in principe, though it may be hard for many of us to learn. Each of us must first seek our fulfillment and validation from the Holy Spirit, and then come together to share the resulting abundance with one another. Human relationships are not meant to take the place of constant and daily communion with the Holy Spirit, but rather to provide a venue for people to share the love of Christ which they have received an abundance of, and that they cannot keep to themselves. By this kind of joyful community, we will each begin to find that fulfillment, acceptance, love, joy, and peace we so strongly desire, and it will be perfect. Not lacking in anything, and completely untainted by sin.
For proof of this, take a look at some of David's other Psalms, and find words written out of pure joy in The Lord. May we all seek to experience this same joy, every day.
Psalm 23: 5b-6
"You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
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